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Caregiver Support

CANCER SUCKS - One truth everyone can agree on.  

But it doesn’t all suck. One of the best parts of cancer was connecting and spending time with the people that love me - so you are definitely one of the most valuable tools to help people live in joy after diagnosis!  

 

Wanted to just write down a few tips and then invite you to listen to the podcast Jennie Smith (Stage 4 recurrent triple negative breast cancer thriver) and I recorded to help you really know what you can do to help.  We both battled from a dark place and built a plan that both addressed the root causes of why cancer was expressed, healed our body from the inside out, and used conventional treatment to treat cancer cells - but more than that proved that you don’t have anything to worry about until you are out of options….

 

Number 1 rule - do NOT make the person with cancer help you process your feelings.  You have every right to have big feelings and emotions - but that is for you to process - not to burden them with. I ended up texting and emailing people so they could process without me because it was so hard to tell them I was gonna be ok when I didn’t know I would be ok and that fed my worry.  The way you can help them heal the most is to be honest with how you feel about them and what you can specifically do to help.  

What do you need when you are diagnosed? 
To be able to sleep, rest, live in joy and not feel stressed.  To feel love.  To plan for a future.

This doesn’t mean you don’t ever mention it or act weird about it - it means you take your fear and process it without them.  But people who could talk to me for real -and listen - and didn’t sugar coat it were very helpful.  I recorded a podcast with Katy Mathes around how she ripped the bandaid off and helped me talk about my diagnosis and face death.  It is great to have a real conversation with them to help them process their diagnosis and treatment approach (often times, you aren’t thinking clearly due to fear, exhaustion, chemo-brain, etc.)

 

It is also helpful if you do research and summarize it for them so they can get the bullet points without having to wade through all of the details (and of course MOJO Health has many fabulous resources already built to help!)

So let’s break this down into what you really need… at a range of price points (including free!)

Make their life easier!  A few ideas: Walk their dog, drive their children to school, help with meals (but make sure you ask about their dietary needs, use organic produce, only olive/avocado oil, gluten free, etc.), do yard work for them, take out the trash, find doctor recommendations, make appointments, build a medicine planner, clean their house, do their laundry, go to an infusion, bring them organic produce, etc.  

Let them know you are thinking of them - send a song, poem, text, Check in and just tell them you are thinking of them.  But DON’T walk up shy or scared or meek or guarded- walk up and ask them how they are with life and energy.  

 

Join them for an appointment.  This may mean driving them there, preparing for the doctor visit and brainstorming questions, creating an agenda for the time together, taking notes during the appointment, doing follow up research on what was discussed, and sharing that information with the people they have identified need to know. 

 

If they are staying at the hospital for an extended stay, it can be very lonely by yourself.  Check in via text, video call, stop by, etc. as often as you help connect them to their real life.  Help them think about more than just cancer.  


Ask if they need something specific to heal.  As an example, mastectomy pillows or seat belt covers or icing tools.  Or maybe a journal.  Or maybe a trampoline (great for lymph expression).  Ask them if they have built a strategy. If they haven’t, I wrote a book to teach them how to build a strategy to heal that uses the best of conventional and traditional healing.  That would be a great gift to help them get started on their journey.

Go spend time helping them find their flow.  Bring them to a art museum, concert, go dancing, play games, or whatever they do and have so much fun they lose track of time…. 

 

Remind them that they are a bad ass.  Give them confidence that they are worth the effort and energy to heal.  Talk with them about their strengths.  My strengths were industrial/organizational psychology (or team building and talent strategy) and throwing theme parties.  Whatever they are great at, help them leverage that in their healing journey.  

 

Give them a gift card to help them with their holistic healing strategy.  This could be a visa gift card, to a local health food store, to Whole Foods, etc.  More Joy Health is working to be the "easy button" for patients to source high quality supplements and tools to heal the root causes of disease so a lot of what they will need will be available right there.  We have also built a registry to make it easier to defray the cost of your healing strategy (I had to spend my entire life savings and more to live, and I want to help people avoid the financial devastation I faced) so make sure you click here to see if they have a registry built (or let them know they can build one here!)


If you want to know if a specific food or supplement could be helpful, check out our strategy builder. If they are complaining of a side effect, you can go right here to see options to outmaneuver that particular side effect across diet, lifestyle, supplements, and facilitated healers.  They will likely have to replace a fair number of household cleaning supplies, beauty products, etc. that have toxic chemicals.  Of course our EMF Blocking blanket would be fabulous….. And almost everyone everywhere would benefit from the foundational protocol we built with Oscar to build up your core health. 

Help them think beyond the diagnosis.

Talk about a dream vacation, going back to school, writing a book, etc.  Help their brain BELIEVE that things can only get better and they will heal.  Maybe even give them a good fiction book so they can escape to another time or comedy movies help them laugh.  Or a lottery ticket! 

 

Ask your community for recommendations on great resources, doctors or facilitated healers that they could utilize locally. Email them with the recommendation and real feedback you received. Take a listen to what you should look for in a doctor  and our podcast on patient centric healthcare.  Or if you have a friend who could help inspire and inform - ask them if they would be willing to have a coaching call with the newly diagnosed to help them find their grounding.  

 

Share my podcast MOJO RISING to make sure they are as educated and empowered as they possibly can be!  I have interviewed experts in many different areas to help people make cancer suck less!  

 

Help them focus on gratitude and what they should be grateful for…. Journal, gratitude jar, devotional, etc.  

 

Think about if there is something you can do for their inner circle to make their lives easier. Ask them how they are doing and help them process their fear and anxiety without the person diagnosed around.   

 

Last but not least, remind them to MAXIMIZE JOY and live their best life. Print pictures of your favorite moments and people, help to decorate their house, send videos of awesome moments in life, and help them get outside and ground!  

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Julie Stevens

Founder of MOJO Health

Survivor of Stage 4 Colon cancer

Author of MOJO Healing 

Host of MOJO Rising... How to Make Cancer Suck Less 

 

PS - I had a really hard time sourcing quality supplements and tools to support my journey, let alone spending my life savings on everything I needed to heal, so we built a sister company - More Joy Health - where you can build a registry to help people know what they can do to support you with the highest quality supplements and resources we could find! I hope this can also help you heal!

 

Please note, More Joy Health funds most of MOJO Health Information, so every dollar spent there is helping us continue to operate this amazing non-profit!

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